That chill in the air

Image from Naper Design

Like practically everybody else in America and some parts of Canada, I love Fall. I love the cooler weather, the colorful leaves. I love football and pumpkin everything and holidays. But my favorite thing about the end of summer is the end of that feeling that you should be outside doing something. Outside enjoying the weather. Ignore the fact that 95 degrees and humid is not at all enjoyable, you should be at the pool. You should be at the beach.

No, in the fall and winter it is perfectly acceptable to spend the entire day at home, inside, reading a book; making the aforementioned pumpkin treats, napping. The reality is that with two small kids, I can't spend an entire day reading or napping but at least I don't feel so bad about not having them at the playground the whole time or worse, the pool.

We are prepping for Halloween around here. My daughter, 3.5, wants to be Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony and preparing her costume was no small feat. A purchased costume would not work because in

addition to be ugly the colors aren't right and worse, the cutie mark is wrong. Caroline would not stand for that. So I had to make one from the ground up.  I made blue leggings and a blue long sleeve shirt, and ears, and wings, and a cutie mark. My mom is making a rainbow mane and tail. I'll post pictures when she has it all on, she is really so excited.

I was uninspired on a costume for my little guy so he is going as a Raven's football player. He will be tackling those bowls of candy, for sure.

We are also trying to get our house ready to go on the market. It is a lot of work because it needs a lot of updates, carpets, lights, paint and I don't know how people do this when they have small children and a husband who watches football all day on Sunday's (part of our pre-marriage agreement. Don't worry, there is plenty of give and take in our marriage and he is happy to give me my time). To say nothing, of trying to keep the house clean when tornadoes live there.

What else?

Reading: We Are Water by Wally Lamb. I am a huge fan of his books and I just started this one, it will take me forever to get through but will no doubt be worth it.

Listening: A Week in Winter by Maeve Binchy. I have ever read any of her stuff but the library had slim pickin's. It's OK so far.

Watching: Hot in Cleveland. Really, I'm just killing time until Downton Abbey is back. Must resist reading spoilers from England. Why in this age of Twitter, etc do they torture us by showing it in England first?

Sewing: A lovely wool skirt to be worn with tights and boots. I love you, Fall.

Eating: Zingerman's Chicken. Perfect for Fall. The bread. My God, the bread.

Working: 32 hours a week instead of 40 (sigh of relief). Back to work from a 2.5 week furlough during the government shutdown which was, I confess, glorious. (before you hate me, know that as a contractor, I did not get back pay for the time I wasn't working)

So that's life around here right now. We are loving fall and I am one of those people who actually really does love the holidays. Even more so this year since my parents moved to town.

I hope you are enjoying Autumn. Stay inside. Read a book.

How to survive the horrible 3's

My daughter is three and a half. When she was two, I was a smug as they come. Terrible 2's. Not my little angel. We didn't have tantrums. I had no reason to use time outs. Even with a new baby in the mix, she was sweet and good tempered. She communicated well and was really just a joy. I was smug.

Karma is a bitch and my smugness has come back to bite me in the ass. I now live with some one who can be just as sweet as that two year old but who can also be reduced to a sobbing mess because her cereal is too pointy. Yes, that has really happened.  Just this morning, she was furious at me because I said good morning to her stuffed cat, Douglas. Every night, I am required to give Douglas a goodnight kiss but saying good morning to her (Douglas is a girl) is a horrible thing to do because, "Don't say that. Douglas is a toy!"

It is like living in a mine field. You never know where to step or what to say. So I thought I would share a few of the ways, I am coping with the horrifying threes.

1.

 2.

 3.

Yeah, I've got nothing else. 

If you haven't yet experienced the Threes, be afraid. Be very afraid. 

A House Divided

Way back a long time ago, I went to a wonderful little college known as the University of Tennessee. Every Saturday in the fall it turned into a sea of Big Orange as the glory of SEC football descended on the land. Like any good college student I was in the stands, decked in orange, cheering for my school. Our football team was good. They weren't great. But still it was an awesome experience.

And then one year, we got a new quarterback and suddenly we were great. His name was, maybe you have heard of him, Peyton Manning. To say having Peyton Manning as the QB of your college team is awesome would be an understatement. I instantly became a Manning fan. When he went pro, I stayed a Peyton Manning fan and though I wasn't a huge pro-football fan, the Colts were my team of choice because of there quarterback. 

Fast forward 10 years and I met my future husband and he was (is) a huge Baltimore Ravens fan. Football meant so much more to him than it did to me and I became a Ravens fan to support him and join in something he loved. I cheered for the Raven's every game, even when they played the Colts. But in my heart I still cheered for Peyton too, and could never really be disappointed when the Colts beat the Ravens. 

As the years have gone on and I have gotten more and more into NFL football, it has been

 harder and harder for me to not express my true team colors. I tried to have family unity. We are all for the Ravens!!! While on the inside I was conflicted. When Peyton changed teams, I found myself suddenly caring about the Broncos. 

Last year when the Ravens won the Superbowl , I decided that since my husband got that, I could have a year or two of openly and proudly cheering for my favorite player to win it all before he rides off into the sunset. This announcement was not greeted with enthusiasm by the husband but he has been more accepting than I would have ever dreamed. He draws the line at any Broncos gear for the kids though. I can accept that, they have plenty of of UT stuff.

So, tonight when the Broncos meet the Ravens, I will be on one side of the couch cheering the Blue and Orange and my husband, will be on the other side cheering for the Ravens. Our friends and family are shocked and disappointed at my betrayal but I have to go with my heart and finally say it out loud. What we can agree on? Guacamole in the middle!

Go Broncos!

First of the first days

This morning, remarkably quickly after she came out of my womb, my Sweet Caroline went to her first day of preschool. School! What the what!?!!? How did we get here? But here we are and my big girl is now part of a class and requires a backpack. A backpack that is as big as she is.

Last week, the preschool had a day to meet the teacher and then and there Caroline fell in love with her classroom and the teacher. All weekend she would ask me, "remember when we met Mrs. S?" She was almost as excited about the day as I was. We started counting down the number of sleeps left until preschool started. 5, 4, 3, 2 ,1 and suddenly it was this morning and we put on her new Oliver and S Family Reunion Dress (post about that to come) and her new light up princess sneakers. Because it was a special day, she allowed me to put her hair in ponytails, a treat for me indeed.

Then she endured the picture taking.

When I dropped her off, she had no nervousness or fears. I didn't expect any. She has been going to daycare most of her life so she is accustomed to being away from mommy. No tears from me either!!!! I snuck one more quick pick as I walked out the door.

2.5 hours later I was greeted at the classroom door by Caroline wearing her backup clothes. Oops. Well, we won't dwell on that. She was happy and super excited to go back tomorrow.


I won't make the mistake of letting her have a drink on the way then.

When I dreamed about family.....

Before I had kids, before I was even married, I used to daydream about family life and how great it could be. This picture is exactly how I imagined it.

Fine Tuning- Career edition

I love my life. Really I do. In the past, I have been through times when I really, really didn't love my life. Those were very dark times so to be able to wake up every morning and say without question, I love my life, is a big deal for me. 

I have everything I ever wanted. I have a husband that I love and is truly my partner, co-conspirator through it all. I have wonderful, healthy (knock-on-wood. PTL) children, who make me smile constantly. I have a nice home. I never worry about whether the bills will be paid or if there will be food on the table. I have friends, the kind I can hug and the kind that I can only reach through a keyboard but they are all real friends.  

I have a nice life. I don't take it for granted.

I feel like I have to put all that out there before I start talking about the things in my life that I want to change. Not because, I'm  complaining. Not because I worry that I'll be viewed as ungrateful. But as a baseline. There are things I want to change in my life but I don't need to change my life. I need some fine tuning.

Not everything is peaches and cream. My career for one. It is at a complete standstill. I have job, it pays pretty well. The boss is understanding about the needs of a working mom but something needs to change. cannot continue with the long commute, 40 hours and lack of fulfillment. Temporarily that change may come within my current position.

My career is truly one of the lowlights of my life. I had potential when I was in school but a series of bad choices and bad luck, have left me underemployed and with a very low opinion of my worth to the working world. I honestly did not pick the right major in college and I have spent my career trying to fit into a field that doesn't fit me. But there is a saying, "It is never too late to be what you might have been." I am trying very hard to embrace that philosophy and be who I want to be. The challenge is that I don't really know who I want to be, career wise. 

At 40 years old, I am attempting to find my passion and jump start my career. It is not an easy task. Years of being in the wrong field have left me wondering if I have any talents that can be translated into a new career. Fear of leaving my family in a financial lurch has kept me from taking any risks. A lifetime of self-esteem issues have kept me from thinking I could ever be good enough to succeed in making a career out of the things I enjoy. 

This is a post without any kind of resolution. I am putting my goals out there without any real plan for making them happen. However, writing this down has been cathartic and a little eye opening. My fears don't seem so daunting when I go back and read this. I do have the safety net of my husband. My parents are nearby now to provide the extra support I might need, whenever it is I figure out what I want to do. Even if I fail, I still have kids that think I am the greatest. They are the best reminders that who I am is not what I do. 

Hopefully, there will be some follow-up to this post. A plan of action? A revelation? I don't know. 

"Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears" -Les Brown

I would love any resource recommendations for career transitions and finding your passion.

Good news Monday.

Look, it Monday. That sucks. How about some happy stories?

The 7 year old sister of the little boy who was killed in the Boston Marathon bombing is doing wonderfully with her prosthetic leg. A little good news for her parents who most certainly need it.
http://www.today.com/news/7-year-old-boston-bombing-victim-dancing-new-leg-6C10931559

This! Watch it. But is anybody else bothered by how much this guy looks like Anthony Weiner. This guy would be a much better candidate for Mayor of NYC.
http://dangerousminds.net/comments/is_this_the_single_best_segment_of_the_colbert_report_ever_it_very_well_mig

Prince’s new album cover is fantastic.

http://jezebel.com/rowr-prince-releases-snippet-of-new-song-breakfast-ca-1164821300

Complete Twitter awesomeness from Patton Oswalt. How did he come  up with all of that?

http://gawker.com/patton-oswalt-rewrote-the-book-on-trolling-twitter-1165728039

OK. SO not everyone cares enough about the royals to consider this good news, but I like Will and Kate, and I love that they are bringing modern parenthood (Men changing nappies! I never!) to the monarchy.

http://www.today.com/news/prince-william-i-changed-baby-georges-first-diaper-6C10937859