5 years and a lifetime to go

Five short years ago, I put on a beautiful white dress, got a smashing updo and made my way down an aisle lined with family and friends to meet up with a handsome man in a tuxedo. On that night we said our I do's and started our lives together.

 I haven't regretted it.

My husband wasn't the only guy waiting at the end of the aisle that day. In addition to becoming a wife I also became a stepmother. And, on November 7, 2008 we became a family.

 I don't really write about my stepson. He is old enough that his privacy dictates that. He is old enough to tell his own stories. Second, being a blended family has enough challenges that it doesn't need me sharing the gory details with the world. But when I speak of my family, I mean all five of us.

Back then we were three. We added two more to make things complete. And then we were five.

 Five years and one day ago, it was just me. And now I have all this. Life is good

A House Divided

Way back a long time ago, I went to a wonderful little college known as the University of Tennessee. Every Saturday in the fall it turned into a sea of Big Orange as the glory of SEC football descended on the land. Like any good college student I was in the stands, decked in orange, cheering for my school. Our football team was good. They weren't great. But still it was an awesome experience.

And then one year, we got a new quarterback and suddenly we were great. His name was, maybe you have heard of him, Peyton Manning. To say having Peyton Manning as the QB of your college team is awesome would be an understatement. I instantly became a Manning fan. When he went pro, I stayed a Peyton Manning fan and though I wasn't a huge pro-football fan, the Colts were my team of choice because of there quarterback. 

Fast forward 10 years and I met my future husband and he was (is) a huge Baltimore Ravens fan. Football meant so much more to him than it did to me and I became a Ravens fan to support him and join in something he loved. I cheered for the Raven's every game, even when they played the Colts. But in my heart I still cheered for Peyton too, and could never really be disappointed when the Colts beat the Ravens. 

As the years have gone on and I have gotten more and more into NFL football, it has been

 harder and harder for me to not express my true team colors. I tried to have family unity. We are all for the Ravens!!! While on the inside I was conflicted. When Peyton changed teams, I found myself suddenly caring about the Broncos. 

Last year when the Ravens won the Superbowl , I decided that since my husband got that, I could have a year or two of openly and proudly cheering for my favorite player to win it all before he rides off into the sunset. This announcement was not greeted with enthusiasm by the husband but he has been more accepting than I would have ever dreamed. He draws the line at any Broncos gear for the kids though. I can accept that, they have plenty of of UT stuff.

So, tonight when the Broncos meet the Ravens, I will be on one side of the couch cheering the Blue and Orange and my husband, will be on the other side cheering for the Ravens. Our friends and family are shocked and disappointed at my betrayal but I have to go with my heart and finally say it out loud. What we can agree on? Guacamole in the middle!

Go Broncos!

When I dreamed about family.....

Before I had kids, before I was even married, I used to daydream about family life and how great it could be. This picture is exactly how I imagined it.

Help is here

As a child, I didn't grow up with my grandparents nearby. By the time I was five years-old, I was down to one grandparent, my mother's mother, and she lived in Florida while I was growing in Tennessee. She died when I was 10, so there was never the option of having grandparents nearby. But I was always jealous of the other kids, who not only had grandparents, but had grandparents they saw all the time because they lived locally. To be honest, I was also jealous of the idea of getting presents from grandparents too, they always seemed like the best gifts.

But it wasn't to be for me.

After becoming an adult and moving from Tennessee to Maryland (with stops along the way) and then having children of my own, I was once again jealous of in-town grandparents. My husband's parents had both, unfortunately, passed away before I ever met him (his mom during his senior year of high school) and my parents lived 600 miles away in Tennessee. Right where they had lived their entire lives.

Until last week. 

I had never ever considered the possibility of my parents moving. I could see my mom being on board but my dad, no, I just couldn't see it. Even when my mom mused about the possibility. I paid her no attention. When she talked about getting rid of stuff and putting the house on the market, I didn't think they would pull the trigger. 

Then they did put their house on the market. And then they bought a house five minutes from where I live. And then last week they moved everything out of the house they have lived in for the last 38 years and drove it all to Maryland and became my neighbor. 

I still can't really believe it. My kids have grandparents they can see if not everyday then almost everyday. My husband and I have a babysitter anytime we need/want it. Free! 

I have help. If one of my kids is sick and can't go to daycare- they can go to grandma's. If I get the call from daycare 11 seconds, after I walk int he door at work- grandma. If I need somebody to be at my house so a repairman can come in the day- Grandpa! The list goes on and on.

My parents aren't quite up for taking care of an 18 month-old and a 3.5 year old 40+ hours a week, so they will still go to daycare, but Caroline will cut down to 2 days a week and start going to part-time preschool 3 days a week. This is a possibility only because Grandma is now available to take her and pick her up. 

And it goes two ways. They have us to help them with all of the things that get hard as people get older. Repairs around the house, lawn mowing, navigating this and that. And down the line (hopefully, years and years down the line) care during sickness and beyond. I am so happy that they will be near me for however many years are left. 

The truly best part of it all though is that my children love them so much and vice-versa. Nothing makes my day more than seeing my "grumpy-old-man" father break into a huge smile as my little runs to him yelling,"'Pa! 'Pa!"

Wordless Wednesday: Hair-raising cuteness

That's just my baby daddy

This guy:

He was apprehensive about entering fatherhood again when we got married. He was terrified when he found out we were having a daughter. But he fell so in love that he couldn't wait to have another.

He is the primary in project potty training of that same daughter.

He is known as the baby whisperer.

When I thought I couldn't make it through those painful, frustrating early breastfeeding days, he is the one that encouraged me and kept me going. One more feeding. Just till Sunday. Even though, he loves the chance to get to feed a baby. 

He thought I had lost my frickin' mind when I brought cloth diapers into the equation. Today he has his own diaper washing system, is sunning all the diapers and can fasten a mean angel wing fold.

He supports me in every crazy thing I come up with and goes with the flow. He is the master of living in the moment. He plays with the kids without worrying about what needs to be done. OK, I do wish he would occasionally worry about what needs to be done (laundry!!!) but I wish I could be more like him.

He's not afraid to get silly. He's right there on the playground with them. He plays princess when he needs to.

He is a babywearing MoFo.


He's come a long way and I am so glad to have him by my side as we raise these remarkable, wonderful, exasperating children. I am so glad he is the father of my children. They are lucky kids indeed.

Happy Father's Day!

Back to the grind

Monday morning when my husband's alarm clock went off, instead of rolling over and trying to go back to sleep like I have for the last 12 weeks, I had to haul myself out of bed, put on my big girl clothes and try to make myself look presentable.

Yep, maternity leave is over, my friends. :insert sad face here:

For 12 glorious weeks, I didn't have to worry about commuting, or meetings, or deadlines. But happy, fun time has come to an end and my life is busy hectic batshit crazy.

Mornings now consists of getting myself and two kids dressed, lunches/bottles made, toddler fed and baby nursed, clean diapers packed, several baby diaper changes during the process, spit up cleaned, and let's not forget mama's coffee.

Then I get to spend 45 minutes of me time in my car. I seriously don't mind my morning commute. It's when I enjoy my coffee while it is actually hot and listen to audiobooks.

Work a full day then hit the streets for the 60 minute drive home. This one is less fun, there is no coffee and I am anxious to get home.

Get home, nurse Landry, play with Caroline, help fix dinner, bath times, bed times, wash diapers, prep as much for tomorrow morning as possible, clean kitchen, shower, 5 minutes playing on Facebook until my eyes can't stay open a minute longer.

Well, that was day 1 anyway. I'm sure we will find our groove and if not, Scott will be on summer vacation in another month.

Wordless Wednesday: Saturday Morning