Fat Friday: 5/25/12

I was all set to post today about how frustrated I was that I am doing the right things but losing no weight. Because yesterday, the scale showed a big 0 for weight loss this week. I was going to talk about how I kept myself going by thinking about the reasons for eating healthy besides weight.

But this morning the scale was kinder and had me at a total of 1.6 pounds down since last Friday. That's a total of 4.4 for the month of May so far. I might have a chance of reaching my unspoken goal hope of 5 pounds this month.

Honestly, I thought I would lose more. I thought with nursing, toddler chasing, baby hauling and C25King, I could lose more but I am averaging 1-1.5 pounds a week and I have to be happy satisfied with that. And to be perfectly honest, I really wasn't doing everything right this week. I had a couple of days that were well over my calorie goal. I had movie theater popcorn. I had a cupcake. I'm not beating myself up over though the way I would have in the past. I understand my limitations. I'm trying to live a life while dropping pounds. I'm just trying to be the best me I can be on any given day. And some days the best me needs cupcakes....and wine.

Every time I eat now, I ask myself, "Do you want Caroline to see you eating like this?" If the answer is no, I TRY to curtail myself. Sometimes the answer is yes even when it isn't the healthiest choice. Yes, I want her to see me having a treat of a cupcake on our special mommy-daughter shopping day.  It was a special occasion.

I really worry about passing my eating issues onto her. Landry too, but her more so because she is a girl and girls just struggle with this stuff more.  I'm trying to be very conscious of my actions. The other day she was crying because she had hurt herself and as I was comforting her I managed to stop myself from offering food as a means of comfort. It was my first instinct. Food makes you feel better. But I stopped. I offered her more hugs and asked if she wanted to work a puzzle together. That worked. At 2 years old, time with mommy is better than food. I wish it could stay that way forever.

I'm still rolling through the C25K program. I'll be doing W6D2 today during lunch. I am not really getting in much exercise other than that. I would like to but I just can't find the time. I guess if I really wanted to, I would find the time. I'll get there.

This weekend, will be a challenge. We are headed to my brother-in-law's house for the weekend and there is always a feast and good times. I'll try for moderation. That's the best me I can be in that situation.