Wordless Wednesday

To Butterbean on the occasion of his 6 month birthday

Oh my sweet Butterbean,

Has it really only been 6 months? Has it already been 6 months? It seems like you have been a part of our family forever and it seems like it was just yesterday that the anesthesiologist yelled, " Holy shit that's the biggest baby I've ever seen" as they pulled you out of me.

You are such a great addition to our family. I'll admit, I was nervous about you joining the crew. How would you fit in when I already gave my all to your sister? But you, amazing you, made my all expand and I can't even imagine our lives without you in it. We all smile when you're around. Even your big sister.

Speaking of smiles, yours is the BEST. It comes so easily to you. You are always looking for a reason to smile. And to laugh. I defy any person on the planet to hear you laugh and not get a huge smile on their face. It can't be done. Your laugh is infectious. And it is even better because you are so generous with it. A simple fake sneeze can send you into long fits of laughter. I can't get enough of it.

You are hitting some big milestones, sweet boy. You can now sit on your own. Your army crawl is so fast that soldiers should come to you for lessons. You are amazingly close to a real belly-off-the-floor-crawl. This morning you even gave me a kiss. Well, it was a rasberry on the cheek but I knew what you meant.

You are loving solid foods. You take after your mama in you extreme love of carrots. A special thank you for eating food that your mama makes you. Something big sissie would never do. That means you always get the good stuff.

But don't grow up too fast. I know you are anxious to keep up with your sister but you are my last baby and I need you to slow down a bit. I need snuggles and nursing and soft baby flesh. I'm not ready for you to run away just yet. But when you do know that your mama is always here with open arms to welcome you back.

I love you, Butterbean. Now and forever.

Love,
Mama

Fat Friday

Hello!!!

It's been a good week here in the land of Cochranicity. I have for the first time in a month practiced a little self control when it comes to eating. July was what it was and now I'm done. The damage wasn't as bad as it could have been. I'm up 2 pounds from the end of June.

This week I've managed to go for a couple of runs and I did something that I have needed to do for a while. Something I've known, I needed to do but been resistant too. I gave up refined carbs. This is not a no carb thing, there is still room in my life for whole grains, fruit and veggies but refined and processed carbs are a no go for me. They are my drug. They my meth. Sugar is heroin injected straight into the vein. Giving them up is a little like detoxing, but 5 days in the cravings have subsided and I feel wonderfully physically. No more highs and lows as my insulin levels vary.

The other thing that gives me less options when it comes to mindless snacking. It is easier for me to tell myself that I can't have any Doritoes ever, than to try to practice moderation. These are the foods that send me on binges.

Like I said, it was what needed to be done and I am finally ready.

It's not so hard right now. It's summer and fresh fruits and veggies are abundant. Fall will be more of a challenge with pumpkin flavored everything and chilly days that long for comfort food. If I slip, it's not the end of the world. It will happen. I will move on.

I also found this photo from a few years back. I was working out everyday and eating clean, like I am trying to now. I look at this to remind myself what hard work and discipline can lead to (minus the irreversible effects to 2 pregnancies one of which resulted in a freaking 11 pound baby). I can do this. I have done this.



What healthy change did you make this week?

Wordless Wednesday

FAT Friday: 7/13/12

Soooo, as I mentioned earlier this week I have been having a hard time on the weight loss front for the last few weeks. Busyness, stress, exhaustion and being a little down has all driven this emotional eater to her vices of choice, sugar and bingeing. I won't delve into the details but I am up 3 pounds. I'm not happy.

I haven't been running. It has been hot. I haven't had time. I have just been lazy. It's such a cycle, when I run I feel like eating well and when I eat well I feel like running. Take away one of those and I seem to lose the other.

The bad part is that I just don't know when I'll get it back. As much as I want to lose weight for all the reasons I have mentioned before, I just don't feel like doing the work. I don't feel like running. I don't feel like counting calories, even though there is no way I'll drop a pound without it. I don't feel like sacrificing food when I already make so many other sacrifices in life.

I'll get it together, I'm just going through a rough time emotionally right now. I miss my kids. Yeah, I see them everyday but I want to be part of there whole lives all day long. I'm not happy as a working mom. Yet, I don't see a way around it. We could survive on one income but it would be very hard and my husband is really not even remotely supportive of the idea. So every morning, my heart breaks in half as I walk out the door and it stays broken until I get home. It doesn't help that my 2 year-old has started begging me to stay every morning. The guilt, the guilt, the guilt.

If you aren't an emotional eater, you probably wonder what all that has to do with weight loss. If you are an emotional eater then I don't have to explain the need to fill the whole in your heart with food.

It's my problem to figure out. I'm trying to come up with some ways to earn some income while being home with my kids. It would help if I was creative, artistic or a good writer. But I'm not any of those things.

For now I will just remind myself why I want to be healthy and hope that inspires something in me.

1. For my kids. They deserve a healthy mom. I don't want them to have a fat mom. I want to live to have relationship with my grandkids.

2. For my husband. He deserves a healthy attractive wife. His health goes as my health goes. When I'm doing the right things, he does too.

3. For myself. I want to have energy. I don't want diabetes and all the other health problems that go with obesity. I want to run races again. I want to fit into my old clothes and take pride in my appearance.

I will run tomorrow morning first thing. That is a promise.

Wordless Wednesday: Tiny Dancer

Summer pasta sauce

It's summer time and veggies are flowing in. I love it. This recipe came about a few years ago when we were buried under zucchini and yellow squash. It is so delicious and healthy. It is all veggies but my meat and potatoes husband and 12 year-old stepson both love it.

Ingredients:
1  can crushed tomatoes with basil
1 small yellow onion-diced
2 cloves garlic-diced
1 small yellow squash-chopped into bite size pieces
1 small zucchini-chopped into bite size pieces
3/4 cup sliced mushrooms
1/8 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
 olive oil

In a deep pan, heat olive oil and sautee onions, garlic, squash, zucchini and mushrooms until tender. About 10 minutes.

Add tomatoes and and the red flakes and simmer 10 more minutes.

That's it! The sauce is done. Usually, I serve this over spaghetti but this day I was making lunches for the week and wanted too add some protein so I put it over tortellini.

So healthy. So delicious.

Catch up

:big, long, exasperated sigh:

Yeah, I've been absent. I got busy. Then I got stressed. That resulted in me dropping the ball on a lot of things. Blogging for one, by the time I sat down at a computer at night, I barely had energy to read a little Facebook or Pinterest before I passed out.

Fitness is the other area that went awry. And I don't mean a little. When I'm stressed I eat. My pills of choice in those times are M&Ms, I don't want to talk about how many have been consumed in the last 2 weeks. Also, I failed to plan. I wasn't planning my lunches or snacks and that resulted in trips to the vending machine and deciding on what to eat for lunch when I was already starving (Chick-fil-a, always Chick-fil-a). Worst of all, I haven't run or done any exercise in 2 weeks. I have excuses, it has been hot as a mother trucker so I can't go during lunch. My kids have been waking in the early pre-dawn hours which has made it difficult to go early morning (getting out the door when they are awake is next to impossible), I've just been so busy.

But things have eased up a little now and I am back on focus. I'll delve into the ugly on FAT Friday this week.

For now, some randomness of what has been going on in our lives:

• My daughter starts ballet lessons today. She and I so excited. I try not to push her into the girly stuff but she makes her way there naturally and I refuse to be ashamed of loving every minute of it. There will be pictures. Hold on to your ovaries.
• We found out last week that my son has a paralyzed 6th cranial nerve. That means that his left eye has limited movement. We were really hoping for a muscle issue rather than a nerve as there are fixes for muscle problems. There is nothing to do for the nerve issue. He will likely develop ways of compensating for the double vision that can come with it. For now we just monitor him and patch his good eye occasionally to make sure his left eye doesn't shut down. The ophthalmologist will be a part of his childhood. 
• A couple of years ago we had our house on the market and put a lot of our junk in storage. The house didn't sell but we never bothered to take our stuff out of the storage unit until finally with a price increase up to $200 a month(!!!!) we finally cleaned it out. Now my entire bottom floor is covered in boxes of junk. I'm slowly going through it all and planning a heck of a yard sale in the coming months. Everything must go. 
• We are less than 2 weeks away from our beach vacation. I am so excited to spend a week where the adults outnumber the kids!!!!!!